Torpor

I have often heard people questioning the existence of their emotions. Often finding it to be a burden, hindrance, or nuisance to their practical aspect of life, people wish that they never develop any emotions for a materialistic thing, place, or even a person, again. 
However, this is exactly something that absolutely terrifies me. It is petrifying to think that it will cease to hurt, to feel this pain, yet again. Feeling nothing, being numb, and having an empty space inside of you may prevent heartache, but it also strips away happiness. The constant train of thoughts running through the mind stops midway and disappears. Although, it does leave a pinching feeling in your chest that may seem like heartache, but is far from it. It is a physical pain, a reminder of everything you have been through, rather than an emotional one.

It may sound bleak and pessimistic, but I would prefer having an emotional burden over nothing. I chose to accept both sides of the coin. To miss out the warmth that radiates through the body when someone hugs you is a big amount to pay for not feeling sad.

There’s only one constant reminder you need to set up. You have to understand that everything you feel is a step forward in your life. Each circumstance, each reaction, and each emotion is here to teach you something. If it devastates you, it also leaves you an opportunity to rebuild yourself. But this maturity and positivity comes with practice.

Gaining control over your emotions is of the utmost importance. It is the uncontrolled emotions that take a turn for the worse. Its arguable that feelings and thoughts are instantaneous and cannot be governed. However, it’s the immediate reaction you have in a situation which is involuntary. The next feeling that arises is a result of your conscious thought process. And you are capable of changing that.

Do not expect to gain this command right away. Take it step by step. Understand yourself, your thoughts, and your reactions. Think why you feel the way you do. Stop your mind from wandering around and reaching the worst possible conclusions. Take it in the opposite direction. Think what you got out of it.

You become the person you decide to be. It’s your decisions that take you a step closer every day. How you react and you handle any situation. It’s never too late to make amendments either. I just hope that you have faith in yourself and chose the righteous path. Don’t let the negativity of the past make you a person you never wanted to be as a child. Take really good care of yourself. Happiness, after all, comes from within.