Amour Propre

Scared of rejection, we fail to understand what is good for us, and what isn't. The fear of being left behind, not belonging, and not fitting in is so intense, that we lose track of ourselves. Often, we end up doing things which ill-represent us, and drain us emotionally. We hurt our being, in the hope to impress someone else.

Peer pressure, as some might call it in some situations, is thus, often lethal. Being popular, and being wanted, takes up so much of our attention, that we begin to believe that it is the road to success.

People celebrating our success, which we probably didn't deserve, gets into our head so deeply, that we yearn for more of these moments. And such moments, slowly, destroy us. We start believing in popularity, and all our hardwork, planning, patience, and, talent, is oriented towards making us popular. Then, whatever is left of our capabilities, plays a very small role in our life. Such is the motion, that we stop growing on an intellectual level, because there's no energy left to do so.

In situations like these, where we face a dilemma between being ourselves, or being accepted, it's almost always, that we should chose to be us. The smallest perks, character flaws, weird choices, crazy talks, and, crooked smiles, are what makes us, us. And believe me, it's a great honour to be yourself.

Growing popular is easy, but, growing smart, it takes some work. As I always say, work hard, and grow up to be your own role model. Change yourself so, and work so, that you attain every character, you saw in your role model, even better. That's when, you will respect yourself, and life will be easier.

Don't just grow old, grow up. Experience, take risks, and do good. In the end, what counts, is if we were original, if you were YOU. 

Culmination

It didn't matter anymore. Well, why should it have? You matter, only if you are needed. You are needed, only if you are irreplaceable. And darling, you clearly were replaceable.

Providing a shoulder to cry on, a soul that understands, a heart that laughs with, and, a mind that advices... it was never enough. Everyone can do that after all, maybe not as truthfully as you, but nonetheless, it doesn't matter in the end.

People want more. People want people, who will do the silliest of things with them, just because. People, who will not stop them from doing wrong. People, who won't kill their enthusiasm, just to take care of their health. People, who will support them, no matter what, no matter how harmful it is.

And why not? Life is for enjoying after all, right? It doesn't matter to them, the consequences of their actions. Let's just put it this way: you are heartless for stopping them. And they? They are heartless for failing to understand you, and your concern.

It's easier to make mistakes, yet enjoy, than to go straight, and have a boring life. Hah. False promises, fake smiles, hollow words, and heartless love. It's all a part of the agenda of enjoying the moment, and forgetting the rest.

So, let people be. They don't need you, and you definitely don't need them. What's said and done, is in the past. Every day is a new day. And you get to learn so much with each day passing by. And one day, it will all be over. And you will be thankful to those people. To those people, who decided one day, that they don't need you, and left you stranded. Because those are the ones, who taught you to be there for yourself. To take care of yourself. And to build yourself up, lest someone tear you down. 

x

Ersatz

And one day, when I am long gone, you will miss me. My thoughts will haunt you, and then only, will you realize, how terrible I was. How inhumane, non-understanding, and selfish I was.
The times when I dismissed your feelings, the times when I underestimated you, the times I loathed you, the times I hated you, will all flash in front of you. And then, you will realize, that yours was a one sided love. And me? I was just using you. You will feel hurt, used, pathetic, low, but atleast you wont miss me anymore.
At times like those, I want you to write down your feelings, record your expression, and recall this, when you remember the love we shared, the false love.
And that will be the day when you will see me the way I see myself, and you wont love me anymore.
Because darling, I know betrayal hurts, being used hurts, but losing a true love hurts the worst.
Because, humans tend to be heartbroken, when something good is taken away, not when something bad comes by.
I want you to see the recording, and remind yourself, that I was never the one. Remind yourself, and believe, that I was the worst you came by. And then, you will realize, there's a lot to look forward to.
Build up hatred towards me, build up enough hatred, that you don't believe that you ever loved me.
I pray, that you forget how it felt to love me. I pray, you forget me. I do.
-yours (never)
Nobody.

Deceased

One morning, he will not wake up. 

Everything will seem the same, but something will be amiss. 

You will laugh, but without a smile. 

Your tears will be wiped, but not dried. 

That morning, he will not wake up. 

And yet, you will not realise it. 

There will be no warmth in the hug, 

No contentment in sharing, 

And no pain in parting.

He didn't wake up that morning,

He will be gone, 

When there is no excitement left, 

That's when you will realise, 

Alas. Love didn't wake up that morning. 

One morning, love didn't wake up. 

And it didn't matter. 

Because you will not realise it. 

But his absence will be felt,

Only after a few days,

Gradually, and slowly. 

When there is no good in goodnight,

When it's hollow care,

And when feelings are expressed out of habit. 

That he had been growing weak for long,

And he died a slow death that night.