Solemnly sitting, quiet and alone, I wonder where I went wrong. Things were not great, but they were not not great either. Everything happened so suddenly, that it is still a blurred series of events.
Words not meant to be said out loud were spoken, and emotions to be shown, hidden. Today, when I turn and look back to everything, I find myself relatively alone then. Except for a blessed soul or two, there was emptiness.
I lost more than I mean to, but I gained much more in experience. I lost people I didn't mean to, but I gained some self respect. Things became clearer, and people became dark.
All that was said and done doesn't seem to be forgotten. Coming back from that trance, I realize, that I am alone right now too.
People say they are there, and that I am a part of them. But is it really so? Is it really, that some gestures on their part are missing, or is it that I feel left out because of my insecurities? I feel hurt due to the fake promises they make every day, or due to their partial remembrance towards me, I don't know.
Everything is more confusing, and disturbing now, than that series of blurred events. It's more troublesome, because I know what I am doing, and saying. I am conscious, and cautious. Every step is a struggle, because I fear getting hurt again.
Taking one step at a time, I have come a long way, and yet, there's a long way to go. Treading on ice, I have fallen so many times, sometimes on my own, and sometimes due to people pushing me down. But one thing I learnt, was to get back up. Stand straight again with no fear, and nothing to lose. Who would chose to die in the cold, than to rest in the warmth ahead. Life, after all, is all about the next step.
Words not meant to be said out loud were spoken, and emotions to be shown, hidden. Today, when I turn and look back to everything, I find myself relatively alone then. Except for a blessed soul or two, there was emptiness.
I lost more than I mean to, but I gained much more in experience. I lost people I didn't mean to, but I gained some self respect. Things became clearer, and people became dark.
All that was said and done doesn't seem to be forgotten. Coming back from that trance, I realize, that I am alone right now too.
People say they are there, and that I am a part of them. But is it really so? Is it really, that some gestures on their part are missing, or is it that I feel left out because of my insecurities? I feel hurt due to the fake promises they make every day, or due to their partial remembrance towards me, I don't know.
Everything is more confusing, and disturbing now, than that series of blurred events. It's more troublesome, because I know what I am doing, and saying. I am conscious, and cautious. Every step is a struggle, because I fear getting hurt again.
Taking one step at a time, I have come a long way, and yet, there's a long way to go. Treading on ice, I have fallen so many times, sometimes on my own, and sometimes due to people pushing me down. But one thing I learnt, was to get back up. Stand straight again with no fear, and nothing to lose. Who would chose to die in the cold, than to rest in the warmth ahead. Life, after all, is all about the next step.
